Learning to Live Again
by jen4306
Summary: Annabella Hawke rules Kirkwall as its new Viscountess. When Nathaniel Howe becomes Ferelden's Ambassador to the great city, will they survive long enough to build a future together? Hawke F /Nate
1. Chapter 1

**This story is dedicated to my amazing supporter and friend, zevgirl! You are simply the greatest!**

**It will include all her favorite men, in one way or another. I hope it is everything you hoped for, my friend!**

**Special thanks, as ALWAYS, to my fabulous sister and friend, Lisa! Your help and support keeps me going - Love you much!**

**The 'M' rating is for later chapters. Those of you who have read my stories know how much I enjoy a hot love scene! :-)**

Nathaniel Howe stepped through the ornate doors of Viscount's Keep, amazed at the change in ambience that had taken place since his last visit to Kirkwall. Gone were the statues of stern templars and unyielding guards. In their place were representations of the allied races known to exist in Ferelden and the Free Marches. Humans, dwarves, and elves were prominently displayed in the corners of the massive atrium. And there were no religious symbols to be found. No reminders were needed of the recent agony that had befallen this broken city; due in great part to its Chantry and templar leaders.

As he glanced around the vast entranceway, Nate wasn't surprised by the change in decoration. After all, in light of recent events, he imagined that the fewer reminders of Kirkwall's checkered past that remained the better.

He sighed heavily, remembering his reason for being here. After the recent incident with the mages – _who are we fooling?_ he thought furiously – _the act of terrorism on the part of Anders Amell_ - Kirkwall had been thrown into chaos. What few mages remained following the rebellion were now free citizens and the templar order had been permanently disbanded. Word quickly spread that the Divine was planning an Exalted March on Kirkwall to restore order among the people.

Everything changed when Annabella Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, stepped forward and announced her intention to become Viscountess. Though she was rumored to be romantically connected to the mage who destroyed the Chantry, her popularity among the nobility of Kirkwall carried her into its greatest seat of power.

Nate met Viscountess Hawke when she aided him during his deep roads expedition, and he knew her to be a remarkable warrior. He hadn't been the least bit surprised to see the ease with which she seized control.

Her first order of business was to arrange a meeting with the representatives of the Divine; and within weeks, the rumored Exalted March was cancelled.

In the year that followed, Kirkwall had undergone a complete transformation. The famous chains of the Gallows were torn down, replaced by statues of the heroes who helped to save Kirkwall from Meredith's insanity; both the ones who had survived and those who valiantly gave their lives to save their city. Varric Tethras was especially proud of his monument and often took the barmaids of the Hanged Man there to picnic at its base.

The rapid change in the Free Marches had attracted the attention of the neighboring lands, and Ferelden was no exception. King Alistair Theirin met Hawke shortly after she became the Champion and he greatly respected her courage and political savvy. Wishing to bolster the relationship between the two kingdoms, the king reached out to his fellow Grey Warden and offered him a position as Ambassador to Kirkwall.

Nate agreed, having spent several years in the Free Marches when he was a younger man. Though he would never admit it aloud, he also longed to help rebuild the city his former friend has destroyed. Anders was a stain on all Grey Wardens, and Nate was nothing if not a man of honor. If Kirkwall needed his help, he would be pleased to offer it.

Stepping up the grand marble staircase, he learned the location of the Viscountess' office from a nearby guard and moved in that direction. As he neared the ornate double doors, he stopped; smiling at the argument he heard coming from inside.

"Bran, I swear. If you place one more edict, law, directive or pronouncement in front of me and ask me to sign it, I will not be responsible for my actions!" the Viscountess declared loudly. Though most people would be put off by her words, the recipient of her declaration seemed unfazed.

"You wouldn't hurt me," a male voice retorted, chuckling softly. "If you lost me, who would you ever find to replace me? Few would be able to tolerate the childish way in which you avoid your duties."

"I'd accept that challenge," Nate said, stepping into the office and bowing politely before the duo.

The red-haired man standing at Hawke's side immediately stiffened, and Nate noticed the subtle way in which he stepped closer to her. "This is a private office, Messere," he said defensively. "If you have business with the Viscountess, I'm afraid you'll need to make an appointment; as she is quite busy at present."

"Relax, Bran," Annabella said, smiling warmly at the new arrival. "We don't want the ambassador to feel unwelcome, now do we?" Rising from her seat, Hawke approached Nate, shaking his hand and indicating the chairs before her desk. "It's good to see you again, Warden Howe. Please make yourself comfortable. I promise that the odds of my seneschal attacking you are quite slim, despite the stern expression on his face."

As she returned to her chair, Nate noted the soft smile Hawke gave her aid, and the gentle way she ran her hand along his arm. This was a pair who had obviously faced much adversity together; no doubt as a result of Anders' actions. Thinking of the mage brought an immediate fury to Nate's heart. How could he claim to love the Champion and yet leave her alone to face the repercussions of his actions? If he ever came face to face with his former ally again, Anders would have much to answer for.

"I must apologize for my less-than-gracious welcome, Ambassador Howe," Bran said, extending his hand in greetings. "Things have been tense here for the past year, as you are no doubt aware. As such, I tend to be quite suspicious of anyone who seeks an audience with Viscountess Hawke."

"No need to apologize," Nate replied, grasping the proffered hand and shaking it firmly. "I am not the least bit surprised by your caution, given the unusual nature of Kirkwall's change in leadership."

"And this is where I step in and insist that we cut the formalities," Anna said, shaking her head and chuckling. "We are all going to be working closely together and it's best to get everything out in the open right away. Please sit down, Bran. You are hovering again." The seneschal took a seat next to Nate, rolling his eyes at the smiling woman behind the desk.

"First of all," Anna began, "I hate being called Viscountess; at least by people I respect. Please call me Anna. If killing darkspawn together doesn't erase the need for titles, I am not sure what would."

Nate smiled warmly at her. The reason for her appointment as Viscountess was suddenly quite clear. This lovely young woman could charm even the most stoic and haughty of nobles. "I could not agree more," he replied. "I always imagined ambassadors to be stuffy old men or high-browed women, and I am neither. I would be thrilled if you would just call me Nate."

"I have to agree with your assessment of the average diplomat, Nate," Bran said. "That is why I am often left to deal with them. Anna doesn't have the patience; or the desire, for that matter." As he spoke, he smiled wryly at the Viscountess. "Speaking of your duties, Serah, don't you have a dinner to go and get ready for?"

Anna sighed heavily, running her fingers through her long black hair. "You just had to remind me, didn't you?" she asked. "Fine, slave-driver, I will go home and change." Turning her attention to Nate, she crossed her arms over her chest. "You had better have on your best, as well," she told him firmly. "I don't intend to be the only one suffering through this ordeal."

"I didn't know there was an ordeal to suffer through," Nate commented, smiling at the exasperated look on Anna's face. "Just arrived in town, remember? If it's all the same to you, I think I might skip the festivities, just this once."

"Actually," Bran began, "skipping it isn't an option, Nate. You wouldn't want to miss you own banquet, would you?" He laughed at the shocked look on the ambassador's face. "Don't look at me! This particular dinner was the Viscountess' idea. She felt you deserved a proper reception."

"I didn't say invite all those stuffy nobles, Bran!" Anna complained. "I was happy to have a small dinner at the estate. But no! You had to blow it into a huge spectacle, as usual."

Bran pulled Anna up from her chair and pushed her toward the door. "I know, Anna," he teased. "It's all a part of my evil scheme to make your life miserable! Now go and get ready! I'm surprised Bodahn hasn't already come looking for you."

The Viscountess turned and looked at Nate before disappearing into the outer office. "Why don't you come by the estate and we can go together?" she asked, indicating Bran with a toss of her head. "He hates it when I travel the city alone. I think he forgets that I fought the Arishok one-on-one and defeated him."

Nate rose, bowing politely to her. "Then I will be round to get you shortly, Milady," he said warmly. "I wouldn't want to anger the Seneschal on my first day in Kirkwall." His stomach fluttered unexpectedly when she flashed him a bright smile. _Maker, she is lovely,_ Nate thought as he looked into her emerald green eyes. _I can see how Anders so easily fell for her…_

**o~~~~~~~~o**

"Ahh, you are back," Bodahn said as Anna walked through the front door. "I was about to come and retrieve you." Anna couldn't help but smile. Bran was right, as always! "Orana laid out your dress for the evening and she awaits you in your suite to help you get ready."

"Is Fenris home?" Anna asked as she headed for the stairs. The former elven slave had moved into the Hawke estate immediately following the battle with Meredith. Though Anna insisted she didn't need protection, her opinion apparently carried very little weight with her companions. Varric and Fenris were both determined to insure that no one would get close enough to the Champion to do her harm. Though they spoke exclusively of the dangers that existed for Anna within the nobility of Kirkwall, she knew they were also concerned that Anders would return in an attempt to take her away with him.

"He is meeting with Mistress Aveline, Serah," Bodahn replied. "They are going over the security for the banquet this evening." _Security, security, security…._ Anna thought irritably. _Doesn't Fenris ever have any fun?_ The Champion thought the elf might take Isabela up on her offer to leave with her on her new ship when she set sail several months earlier, and was quite surprised when he declined. She knew the pair had spent many a night together over the years. Of course, Isabela wasn't exactly the 'settling down' kind, and Fenris needed a stable home to start his new life; now that his former master was dead and he was free. For that reason, she was happy to open her estate to him. He had been so supportive of her following the Anders nightmare, and she knew she would be lost without his companionship.

She reached the top of the stairs and stopped; momentarily transfixed by the railing that overlooked her great hall. For the briefest of moments, she could clearly see Anders standing there; as he had when he lived with her. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of the man who had stolen her heart so many years before. _Where are you?_ she wondered, staring out the nearby window. _Are you safe?_

Though she fought against it, her mind flashed to the question that had plagued many of her nights since the fateful confrontation between the mages and templars. _Do you think of me?_ Though she sent him away after the destruction of the Chantry - against the advice of several of her companions, who wanted him dead - she knew she would always have a special place in her heart for her renegade mage.

"Mistress Anna," Orana said as she stepped from the Viscountess' bedroom, "we need to hurry! The banquet will be starting soon and you need to look your best." With a final longing look at the banister, Anna allowed the excited elven maid to draw her into her suite, toward the steaming bath water…

**o~~~~~~~~o**

Nate arrived at the Hawke estate as the last of the sun's rays turned the sky a deep orange. He looked down at his formal Grey Warden uniform; worried that it wasn't quite ornate enough for the evening's celebration. His belongings were all in his new home, but none had been unpacked before his arrival. As he raised his hand to knock on the front door, he noticed a minor trembling in his fingers. _What is wrong with me?_ he thought irritably. _I am only escorting her to a dinner! It's not as though we are going as a couple! _

Remembering the smile she had given him as she left her office, Nate felt a momentary pang of guilt and unconsciously reached his hand into his jacket pocket; his fingers tracing the contours of the letter that he always kept on his person. The parchment arrived at his home several weeks after King Alistair approached him about becoming the Ambassador to Kirkwall; and recognizing the handwriting, he had opened it immediately. His shock grew with each line of the missive that he read.

_Nate,_

_I know you never expected to hear from me again, and I have no doubt that your first desire is to throw this letter into the nearest fireplace without reading it. I beg you to reconsider that course of action, as I desperately need your help._

_Let me be quite clear. This favor I am asking of you is not for me. I knew what I was doing when I destroyed the Chantry in Kirkwall and I am fully prepared to accept the consequences of my actions. I know I will never be forgiven, and I have made peace with that. As long as I have given my fellow mages a chance at a normal life, I have fulfilled my mission. However, my actions affected more lives than just mine, and I need you to help protect the one that is dearer to me than any other._

_I know that King Alistair has offered you the position as Ambassador to Kirkwall. I cannot tell you how I learned of it, as it would put others' lives in danger. Too many have died as a result of my failings, and I refuse to add any more to my long list of victims. _

_I ask that you take the position, Nate. Please. I am sure you are aware that Annabella Hawke is now Viscountess of Kirkwall, and she will need your help in the days to come. No matter what anyone says of me, I never lied to Anna when I said how much I loved her. She was the only bright light in my entire miserable life, and not a day goes by when I do not think of her and how much I miss her. My greatest regret is that I left her alone to pick up the pieces of the destruction I wrought on her life. She deserves so much more than I ever gave her._

_You are familiar with the workings of noble society, and therefore you must realize that there are those who would like nothing more than to destroy her; if only to make her pay for her relationship with me. I cannot protect her, but you can. You are unsurpassed in your ability to recognize deceit, and she will need that skill to insure that her place in Kirkwall remains safe. _

_Please do not tell her that I contacted you. It would be best if she were to imagine me dead. Then she can move on and live the wonderful life that she so richly deserves._

_I promise that I won't bother you again. I just needed to tell you how important your mission in Kirkwall will be; should you choose to accept the King's offer. _

_Thank you, my friend, for doing what I cannot. I know that with you as an ally, my Anna will be safe._

_Anders_

Though he knew he could never forgive his former friend, Anders' words rang true in Nate's head. Annabella Hawke would remain in danger, no matter how supportive the nobles of Kirkwall seemed. In that moment, as he folded the letter and placed it in the pack on his armor, Nate made his decision. The very next morning, he accepted the position as ambassador and began preparing for his new life in Kirkwall.

"If you continue to stand here, staring at the Viscountess' home, I may begin to wonder about your intentions," a quiet voice said at Nate's ear. The rogue jumped, pulling a dagger from his waistband and turning in the direction of the intruder. Before him stood an elven male unlike any Nate had ever seen before. His white hair was a stark contrast to his tanned skin, and his light green eyes glittered dangerously in the dusk. It was the tattoos on his skin that drew Nate's attention, however. They appeared to glow a faint blue, and the ambassador wondered where such markings could be purchased in Kirkwall.

"I am here to see Viscountess Hawke," Nate said carefully, his hand tightening around the hilt of his weapon. Something about the elf spoke of great danger, and Nate knew he would be wise to prepare for an attack.

A raised eyebrow was the only indication of the elf's interest in Nate's statement. "Really?" he asked, and it appeared to the human that his tattoos glowed brighter by the second. "Is she expecting you? For if she isn't, then it would be in your best interest to leave immediately."

"Actually, she is," Nate answered, "though I'm not sure what business this is of yours. I am to accompany her to a diplomatic dinner this evening."

"Then by all means, come inside," the elf replied sardonically, opening the front door and motioning for Nate to enter. "Let us see if you are indeed expected. For your sake, I hope you are."

Nate stepped through the door into a large foyer. Though he looked ahead, he was acutely aware of every move the elf made behind him. As they approached the great hall, an elderly dwarf greeted them; a bright smile on his face.

"Master Fenris!" he exclaimed, nodding politely to the elf. "Welcome home. Mistress Anna was asking where you were earlier. She seemed most distressed that you were working once again."

"She should be used to that by now, Bodahn," the elf replied casually as he brushed past the dwarf and entered the great hall. "This gentleman claims he is here to escort Anna to the banquet this evening. Do you know anything about this?"

"Fenris, please don't tell me that you are threatening the guests again," Anna said as she descended the staircase before the two men. Nate's breath hitched slightly as he gazed up at her. Her hair was pinned back, exposing her long neck and bare shoulders. The emerald gown she wore hugged every curve of her body, and a small golden pendant hung around her neck; coming to rest between her breasts. "People won't want to come back if you threaten to melt their hearts inside their chests."

Reaching the bottom of the staircase, she crossed the room and placed a hand on the elf's arm. The effect it had on him was immediate. He smiled warmly at her and the glow vanished from his tattoos. "Well, if the guests didn't lurk outside the house, there would be no need for suspicion," he replied, his eyes turning cold as his attention once more returned to Nate.

"Ambassador Nathaniel Howe," Anna began, approaching Nate and offering her warmest smile, "may I present my dearest friend and greatest protector, Fenris. Among other things, he is in charge of training new recruits in the Viscountess' guard and is responsible for overseeing all dignitary security. Fenris, this is the new ambassador from Ferelden. You know, the one tonight's banquet is honoring."

Nate bowed politely in greeting, his eyes never leaving the elf's. "It is an honor to meet you," he said, his voice carrying the slightest edge. "I now understand why you were so curious as to my reasons for being here. Anna is lucky to have someone as obviously capable as you to watch over her."

"I am the lucky one, Ambassador Howe," Fenris replied, his eyes flashing dangerously at Nate's use of Anna's first name. "If you will both excuse me, I have some details to iron out before returning to the banquet hall." Smiling gently at Anna once more, the elf turned and headed deeper into the estate.

"That went relatively well," Anna said, chuckling softly. "You should see how he greets most new visitors to the mansion. A few have been far too terrified to return."

Nate's smile lit his face and Anna couldn't help but notice how it softened his features. "I don't doubt that one bit," he said, offering Anna his arm. "He seems extremely protective of you. I am surprised that he is allowing me to escort you at all."

Anna slipped her arm through his and felt a shiver travel down her chest and settle in the pit of her stomach. It had been a long time since a man had touched her; with the exception of her regular companions, of course. Ever since Anders' departure, she had refused the very idea of a romantic relationship. Her friends, however, never gave up hope that she would find someone to fill the emptiness she felt inside; and they often introduced her to possible suitors. None ever worked out, and physical contact was out of the question.

Now, with one touch, Nate made her body react in ways it hadn't for over a year. _Idiot!_ she thought furiously as Nate led her into the Hightown night. _Don't even think about it! He is an ambassador and nothing more!_ Regardless of how much she tried to deny it, she still felt that she was betraying Anders by thinking of other men_. And Nate was Anders' friend. How much worse could a choice be! _To take her mind of the close proximity of her handsome companion, Anna busied herself with showing Nate the changes that had been made to Kirkwall since his last visit.

**o~~~~~~~~o**

"Well, well," Donnic said, placing a hand on Aveline's arm to get her attention. "Look who just arrived. And looking positively radiant, if I am allowed to say so."

His wife gazed in the direction he indicated and gasped. "Yes, my husband," she said, a pleased expression on her face, "this is one time you are definitely allowed to say so."

No one had been more vocal than Aveline when it came to the need for Anna to move past Anders and begin a new life. The Guard Captain had watched as her friend spiraled into a loneliness from which she was afraid she would never recover. Now here she was, walking to a formal banquet on the arm of a very handsome man. And she looked _HAPPY_! Maybe miracles really did still happen, even without the Chantry…

"Well, will wonders never cease?" Bran said as he approached the new arrivals and took Anna's hand, placing a light kiss on her knuckles. "She arrives on time and in a dress, of all things! I never thought I would live to see the day."

"You may not live to see tomorrow if you keep that up," Anna retorted, though her bright smile belied her words. "I assume that your quick arrival at my side is an indication of an imminent noble onslaught? Can't I just sit down and eat in peace?"

Bran smiled, his eyes showing the truth of Anna's statement. "Now, promise me you won't get violent," he said and Nate watched carefully as his companion's eyes widened.

"Bran, it's not the..." she began as an impeccably dressed man and woman approached the trio; bright smiles on their faces.

"Viscountess," Flora Harimann said, curtseying respectfully to Anna. "How nice to see you. You have outdone yourself again with this banquet." Nate felt Anna's grip on his arm tighten and he instinctively pulled her closer to him. Whatever her problems were with these people, he intended to make sure she was protected.

"Thank you, Lady Harimann," Anna said, the sarcasm in her voice barely concealed. "Have you tried the wine tonight? I hear it's quite refreshing." Nate saw the furious blush that crept up the noblewoman's cheeks and knew that Anna's pointed question was meant to elicit that exact response.

"Not yet, Serah," Flora replied, her eyes downcast. "If you'll excuse me, I suddenly find myself in need of some fresh air." Glancing quickly at Nate, her expression one of complete embarrassment, she rushed from the hall. The man who accompanied her stepped forward and Nate was instantly on alert. The man's eyes roamed over Anna's form with undisguised lust, and the Warden felt an immediate urge to pull his daggers and carve the lascivious smirk off the stranger's face.

"Viscountess Hawke," he purred, stepping forward and taking Anna's hand in his own. He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them; his eyes locked with hers. "As always, you are captivating."

Nate felt the shiver of revulsion that flowed over Anna's body. She drew her hand back, forcing her mouth into a semblance of a smile. "Lord Harimann," she replied quietly. "I trust you are enjoying yourself this evening?"

"Please," he began, "I told you to call me Rexton. My father was Lord Harimann. And yes, I am enjoying the banquet very much; though the atmosphere improved greatly with the arrival of this evening's beautiful hostess."

Harimann turned his attention to Nate and his smile faltered. "So," he said, "I assume you are Ambassador Howe? Pleasure to meet you." A cruel smile curved his lips as he continued. "I've heard so much about your family."

Nate immediately bristled. He hated being reminded of the stain his father, Arl Rendon Howe, left on his family's name. He opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when he felt Anna's grip tighten on his arm.

"Have you, Rexton?" she asked, her voice dripping with hate. "Well, then, I think it would only be fair to share your family's colorful history with Nate." The ambassador noted the way both Bran and Harimann blanched and he couldn't help but smile. _This was going to be good…_

"You see, Nate, the Harimanns have been quite busy over the last few years," Anna began. "Lady Johain Harimann single-handedly arranged for the murder of the ruling family of Starkhaven. Only one son, Sebastian Vael, managed to escape the slaughter. He came to Kirkwall to seek aid against those who destroyed his family. I have it right so far; don't I, Rexton?"

Before Harimann could respond, Anna held up her hand; her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Of course I do," she continued. "When Sebastian discovered that his family's closest allies were behind the massacre, we went to their mansion to confront them. And what an informative visit that was! Flora was so drunk that she could barely stand up to yell at the wine cask! Her brother, Reginald, was melting all the gold in the house so he could pour it over one of the elven servants!"

She paused, tapping her index finger on her top lip in mock contemplation. "And Rexton – what were you doing again? Ahh… yes, I remember now," she said, her voice carrying a hard edge. "You were in your suite, forcing yourself on your elven maid! What was that romantic line you used on her? 'Felicitate me!' That was it, right?"

Harimann's face was now blood red and Bran stepped in, trying to ease the growing tension. "Viscountess," he said softly, "I do believe you are needed in the drawing room."

Never taking her eyes off of Harimann, Anna shook her head. "In a minute, Bran," she spat. "I am almost done. You see, Nate, Lady Harimann made a deal with a desire demon to wrest control of the Starkhaven throne from the Vaels. She arranged to have the entire Vael family killed so she and her children could rule the country. But you know how uncooperative those demons can be! As part of the bargain, it took control of the entire family; unleashing the sick desires that resided within each of them!"

Stepping closer to Harimann, Anna stabbed him in the chest with her finger. "Remember this, Rexton, the next time you want to question someone else's family honor," she declared through clenched teeth. "You need to have honor to recognize it in others. That would explain why you know nothing of the integrity of the new ambassador." Taking a deep breath to calm her anger, Anna once again slid her arm through Nate's; leading him further into the banquet hall. Once they were out of earshot of the furious nobleman, she stopped and turned to face the Warden; her eyes slightly downcast.

"I am sorry that you were forced to witness that," she said softly, a blush rising in her cheeks. "You must think I am completely out of control. It's just that the Harimanns make me so furious! They hold themselves so far above everyone else; while I know the truth of who they really are. I just couldn't stand by and allow that perverted lecher to belittle you."

The fluttering returned to Nate's stomach and he reached forward, lifting Anna's face so that she was once again looking him in the eye.

"Never apologize for being who you are," he said, smiling softly at her. "You have a fire inside of you at I haven't seen in many years. I find it to be so very refreshing." _And attractive,_ he thought; though he would never dare to speak that part aloud. "I think kingdoms would be far stronger if their leaders showed the same passion that you do." He noticed the blush deepen on her cheeks and his smile grew.

"Please don't encourage her!" an authoritative voice said to his right. "She is nearly impossible to control now." Nate turned and looked at the tall, red-haired woman standing next to him. She wore a wry smile and her gaze was fixed on Anna. "So, I see you are making nice with the nobles again this evening, Anna. Harimann looks positively sick!"

The Viscountess' laugh was contagious and Nate found himself at ease for the first time since they entered the banquet. "I don't know what you mean, Aveline," she replied jovially. "I was simply introducing Ambassador Howe to one of the fine, outstanding noble families of Kirkwall."

"She certainly did," Nate replied, his smile growing as he watched the camaraderie between the two women. "I feel as though I have known the Harimanns for years!"

"Poor you," Aveline replied, extending her hand in greeting. "Guard Captain Aveline Hendyr at your service, Ambassador Howe. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I trust the behavior of our beloved Viscountess hasn't scared you back to Ferelden already."

Nate took the proffered hand, chuckling at Aveline's words. "So far it's been quite the adventure," he began. "I arrived to learn that I had a party to attend and was expected to escort none other than the famous Champion, herself. Then I was nearly murdered by an extremely protective elf when I arrived at my companion's estate. I finally manage to get the hostess to her party and we are greeted by the most notorious family in Kirkwall. I am only sorry I didn't move here sooner!"

"Oh, no!" Aveline replied, feigning distress. "You _LIKE_ this madness? It is bad enough that we have to deal with Anna. If you misbehave as well, we are all doomed!"

"Anna, you need to take the ambassador around to greet your guests," Bran said, interrupting the moment of levity with his usual stoic grace. "Shall we go?"

'Save me some wine,' Anna mouthed to Aveline as the trio walked away. The Guard Captain laughed, pleased to see a genuine smile on her friend's face once again.

"Think he might be the one?" Donnic asked as he moved to his wife's side, sliding his arm around her waist.

Sighing heavily, Aveline shook her head. "I'm almost afraid to hope," she admitted. "Guess we'll just have to wait and see, right? For now, let's just get through this blasted party and go home. I have some new 'criminal apprehension techniques' I think we should practice…"

**o~~~~~~~~o**

Anna sat at the head of the Viscountess' table, gazing out over the throng of people. The banquet had been a huge success thus far and the evening passed quickly, much to her surprise. She introduced Nate to most of the city's noble families and dignitaries, giving him necessary background on each before approaching them. Bran seemed very pleased with the way she charmed her guests and often nodded his approval when she looked his way.

It was the pleasure she found in Nate's company that surprised her most. He had keen insight into people and shared his views on most of the attendees with her throughout the meal. His opinions seemed to coincide with her own, and she found herself looking forward to working with him to build a stronger relationship between Kirkwall and Ferelden.

_Who am I fooling?_ she thought as she gazed over her wine goblet at him. Try as she might to convince herself that his appeal was only as a political ally, she couldn't ignore the way his dark eyes drew her in; or the feeling she got whenever his hand casually brushed against her own.

_Too fast! This was all too fast!_ she worried, shaking her head to clear her mind. She had only just lost Anders, and she knew she shouldn't be ready to move on from her heartache. _Or should she?_ Well, nothing needed to be decided anytime soon. For tonight, there was still the speech to think about…

As if he read her thoughts, a servant appeared at her elbow and placed a fresh goblet of wine in front of her. "For the toast, Viscountess," he said, bowing quickly and moving away. She took a deep breath, rose from her chair and took the goblet in hand.

"Pardon me," she exclaimed loudly and much to her astonishment, the entire room fell silent. All eyes turned her way in anticipation of her words. _I hate you, Bran,_ she thought angrily. He was the one who suggested this nonsense. She hated being the center of attention; but she knew it was her job as Viscountess to officially welcome Nate to Kirkwall. Taking a deep breath, she drew up to her full height and began to speak.

"I wish to thank all my honored guests for coming out this evening to welcome a new addition to our glorious city," she began, her voice sounding far stronger than she felt. "The people of Kirkwall have suffered greatly over the last several years. Meredith's rule, and the actions of one fanatical mage, left the country in dire need of repair. We have all worked very hard to rebuild our home and finally, our efforts are being rewarded."

She waited until the applause died down before she continued. "Nations all around us are recognizing the strength of the new Kirkwall, and they wish to join us in our fight to restore peace to the land," she said, her smile bright. "Many of us came from Ferelden and we know how valuable a treaty with that nation would be to us all. King Alistair Theirin feels as we all do; and for that reason, he has sent one of his own to us to forge that alliance. It is my greatest honor to officially welcome Ambassador Nathaniel Howe to Kirkwall."

The guests rose as one and goblets were raised in honor of the new ambassador. Though he maintained a calm demeanor, Anna was close enough to see the slight tremor in his hands. Catching his attention, she smiled warmly and winked at him. "Welcome to your new home, Nate," she said and raised her goblet to him, tipping it back and taking a deep drink of her wine.

"Thank you, Anna," he replied, returning her smile. "So, when do you think we can… Anna?"

His eyes opened wide as he saw the change in her demeanor. Anna's face had gone quite pale, and she seemed to be having trouble breathing. He quickly rounded the table and took her in his arms. "Anna?" he cried, panic rising in his voice.

She stared up at him, her eyes wide with fear. "Nate…" she exclaimed, her voice escaping in small gasps. "So hot… can't b-breathe.." A moment later, she collapsed in his arms.

"Anna!" Aveline yelled, rushing to the ambassador's side. She dropped to her knees and took Anna's hand in her own. "What happened? What is wrong with her?"

Nate glanced up at her, and the look in his eyes confirmed her greatest fear. "We need a mage _now_!" he said sternly. "I recognize these symptoms. Anna has been poisoned."

**To be continued….**


	2. Friends or Enemies Who knows for sure?

**I owe my readers a HUGE apology for my absense! It has been a difficult couple of months, and I let my writing slide while dealing with everything else. **

**Now I am back with a vengeance, and can't wait to share my chapters with you! All the stories will hopefully be updated in the next week!**

**I owe a tremendous thank you to all those who read and favorited this story! You brought such happiness to a dark time!**

**To my reviewers - voltagelisa, zevgirl, minshe, naomis8329, Liso66 and wildcat717 - I could not love you guys more! Your kind words made me want to continue!**

**Lisa, you have been my rock and salvation during a very difficult time. Never have I had a friend like you! Thank you for having faith in me when I had none in myself! ****Je t'aime beaucoup, ma soeur!**

**We pick up where we left off so long ago... with Anna on the ground, poisoned...**

"Holy Andraste!" Aveline cried, turning quickly to the man who was rushing to her side. "Donnic, get Merrill!" she exclaimed. Nodding quickly, the soldier dashed from the hall; several of his men in tow.

Aveline turned her attention back to Nate, and he could clearly see the tears glistening in her eyes. "It will take them awhile to get back with the only mage I trust to care for Anna," she said, her voice filled with distress. "Is there anything we can do to keep the poison at bay until she arrives?"

Nate stared down at Anna's pale face; his heart racing in his chest. He pulled open her eyes and saw the small broken blood vessels that surrounded the emerald irises. _Suffocation!_ he thought, quickly pulling open her lips to examine the pale gums beneath them.

"Damn it all!" he exclaimed, once more gazing up at the panicked Guard Captain. "It's Quiet Death! We may not have time for your mage to arrive. I am such a fool! I should never have come without my herb pouch!"

"There is a complete collection of medicinal herbs in the Viscountess' private study." Nate recognized the voice as belonging to the elf from Anna's mansion and gazed up into Fenris' dark eyes. "I have kept it fully stocked since Anna took control of the city. I knew something like this would eventually happen."

Nodding quickly, Nate pulled Anna into his arms and stood, cradling her head against his shoulder. Even in the midst of the crisis at hand, his stomach flipped at the feel of her warm body against his own. "Take me there immediately!" he ordered. "We have no time to spare!"

He followed Fenris through a labyrinth of hallways and into an ornate study; filled to the ceiling with oaken bookcases and storage cabinets. Placing Anna gently on a nearby settee, he motioned for Aveline to come to her side. "Keep her warm," he instructed, gesturing at her exposed arms. "We have to keep her blood circulating. Rub her limbs vigorously while I get the antidote prepared. It shouldn't take me long if you have the stock I need." Aveline dropped to her knees at Anna's side and began massaging her biceps; her tears falling silently on her friend's ornate gown.

Fenris led him to the potion cabinet and pulled open the enormous doors. Nate was astonished by the sheer volume of herbs and prepared tonics that were stored within. Fenris hadn't been exaggerating when he said he had planned for this event. There was enough inventory available to save an entire army from attack.

Glancing over the shelves, Nate grabbed several bags of herbs and a few vials of viscous liquid. He rushed to a nearby table and began mixing the ingredients in an empty bowl. As he worked, he called over his shoulder to Aveline, "How is she?"

"I don't know!" Aveline cried, still furiously rubbing her hands over the Viscountess' torso. "She feels colder than when we entered the room and her lips are really turning blue!"

A few seconds more and Nate rushed to Anna's side; the bowl filled with a sickly brown liquid. "Tilt her head back and open her mouth!" he ordered, and Aveline quickly complied. He slowly poured the fluid into her mouth while gently massaging her neck; ensuring that she swallowed every drop.

Nate took Anna's head in his hands and stared down at her pallid cheeks, looking for any sign that the antidote was working. As he waited he prayed. _Maker, please don't let her die. Kirkwall needs her._ And though he knew he could never admit it, a second thought came unbidden to his mind. _I need her…_

"Aveline?" Nate glanced at the study doorway as a small, pale elven woman raced into the room; the Guard Captain's husband in tow. He quickly moved out of her way as the mage reached Anna's side. Her hands glowed brightly as she ran them over Anna's chest; her eyes closed tightly in concentration.

The room was silent, except for the sound of the elf's chanting. The minutes felt like years as the companions waited for any sign of recovery from the unconscious woman on the settee. Finally, with a bright flash of white light, the elven song stopped. A low moan escaped Anna's lips, and Nate released the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. He slowly moved toward the settee and kneeled at Anna's side; gently taking her hand in his.

Behind him, Merrill and Aveline exchanged pointed glances and smiled. Donnic had given Merrill the gossip about Nate and Anna on their way to the manor and she was anxious to get to know the new ambassador better. Now, having seen the way he seemed to care for her closest friend, the mage couldn't help but wonder if the prayers of Annabella's companions were finally being answered.

Anna groaned as though in immense pain and her eyes slowly opened. As the room around her came into focus, her eyes met Nate's and she half-heartedly smiled. The small gesture struck him like a knife in the heart.

"I… what… Nate…" she choked, swallowing painfully in an attempt to rehydrate her mouth. Nate placed his fingers on her lips to quiet her and looked over his shoulder at the broadly smiling elven mage.

"She needs water," he said quietly. Before Merrill could move, Fenris was at the ambassador's side; a tall glass of water in his hand. Nate reached for the glass, but the elf shook his head; a deadly look in his eyes. Without comment, the Warden backed away; allowing Fenris to take his place at Anna's side.

Fenris placed his arm under Anna's back and gently pulled her into his lap. He held the glass to her mouth and poured a small amount of water between her parted lips. "Slowly, Anna," he whispered softly as he pulled the glass from her face. "I almost lost you and I have no intention of allowing it to happen again; especially not to your own overzealousness with a glass of water." A gentle smile formed on her lips as she gazed up at the elf, and Nate felt the first stirrings of jealousy enter his heart.

_I have no right,_ he chastised himself. The directive, however well intentioned, didn't change the gnawing pain in his gut.

A sudden commotion drew all attention to the hallway. "If you don't let me in that room right now, I will spill your insides all over this fancy, gold-trimmed hallway!" an angry voice called from beyond the door.

"Varric," Merrill explained, looking over at Nate. "I will handle this." The elven mage approached the door and opened it, stepping into the hallway. Her voice, though quiet, could be easily heard by the remaining occupants of the room.

"I don't think violence is necessary, Varric," she scolded the unseen arrival. "These nice men are just doing their jobs. Now come inside before you get yourself arrested!"

The door opened and Nate gazed down at the flustered dwarf that preceded Merrill into the room. He quickly scanned the space; his gaze coming to rest on Fenris and the recovering woman he still held in his arms. "Anna!" Varric cried as he moved to her side and knelt down; briefly running his fingers through her hair. His eyes flashed to Fenris questioningly and the elf slowly nodded. Releasing a deep sigh of relief, Varric sat back on his heels and smiled.

"I hope you realize how very angry I am with you," he said, his voice slightly shaking. "You throw the most exciting social event of the season, from everything I have been told, and you don't invite me? I may have to rethink my devotion to you, you know."

Anna sat up, with help from Fenris, and smiled at Varric. When she spoke, Nate noted that her voice had regained some of its strength. "Well, far be it from me to put a stain on your social status," she began wryly. "I will have to make sure you receive a front row seat to the next attempt on my life." She fell back against Fenris, as if the very act of speaking drained what little energy she'd regained.

Fenris rose from the floor, Anna still in his arms, and placed her back on the settee. "I will get you something to eat," he said, his hand lingering on her arm. "Do not move from this spot. Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal," she replied, winking at him. As he turned to leave, she reached up and grabbed his elbow. "Thank you, Fenris." The briefest of smiles curved his lips as he nodded and walked from the room. As the door shut behind him, Merrill moved back to Anna and ran her hands over the Viscountess' torso, nodding slowly as she did so.

"You'll be fine," she said softly, the smile once more brightening her eyes. "Though you will need to rest for a few days to regain your strength."

"Thank you, Merrill," Anna said. "How lucky I am to have such a wonderful healer at my disposal."

Merrill laughed, glancing back at Nate. "While I would love to take credit for your recovery, your thanks should be directed to the new ambassador from Ferelden. It was his quick wit and knowledge of herbs that saved your life."

Before Anna could reply, Varric moved to Nate and clapped him solidly on the shoulder. "Well, it appears that there is at least one Warden who isn't deserving of a slow, painful death," he said. The look in his eyes told Nate that the dwarf would take great pleasure in providing that death to Anders.

"Varric..." Merrill began, her eyes darting quickly to Anna.

"It's alright, Merrill," Anna said quietly as Fenris returned to the room; carrying a tray of assorted meats and cheeses. "Varric has never hidden his feelings about Anders and he has every right to his opinion; no matter how violent or inappropriate."

"Here," Fenris said, placing the tray of food in Anna's lap. "Eat." Turning away, he motioned for Varric to follow him from the room.

"We need to speak," he said quietly, and his tone left no room for debate.

"We're coming, as well," Aveline said, pulling Merrill along behind her. Bran followed the women, but not before stopping at the settee and bending down to kiss Anna on the forehead. He whispered something in her ear that made her blush, gently caressed her cheek and headed for the corridor; giving Nate a final glance before quietly shutting the door behind him.

The room fell into silence as the remaining duo gazed at each other. With a soft sigh, Anna spoke.

"Please come and join me," she said, motioning toward the chair at her side. "Fenris left me enough food for an entire army, and I have no doubt that he expects me to clean the tray. I would be forever in your debt if you would help."

Nate chuckled and approached the settee, grabbing two mugs of water on the way. He passed one to Anna before taking a seat in the soft leather chair. The couple ate their meal in silence, both trying to decide where to begin their conversation.

"So, was your first night in Kirkwall everything you imagined it would be?" Anna asked as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth nervously. "Life is never dull here, you know."

"I must admit," Nate replied, "I was flattered to have such a beautiful woman fall at my feet. However, I would prefer that fall to be from my immeasurable charms and not as a reaction to a deadly poison."

Nate's eyes widened when Anna reached over and took his hand in her own. "Nate," she began, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks, "I don't know how to even begin to tell you how grateful I am for your actions this evening. 'Thank you' seems so inadequate."

Nate gently squeezed her hand. "Anna, you don't need to thank me," he replied. "I am so glad I was able to aid you when you needed it. Besides, it was the meticulous planning by your elven protector that made it all possible. His collection of medicinal herbs is nothing short of amazing."

"Fenris is nothing if not thorough," she said, chuckling softly. "Normally I would say he was being overprotective. However, in light of the events of this evening…"

"They will try again, you know," Nate interrupted and Anna felt the shudder of rage that passed through him. "Whoever made this attempt on your life will not stop simply because we foiled this plan. We need to increase your security and keep you away from the general public until the responsible party can be apprehended."

Anna shook her head and pulled her hand back. "No," she said defiantly. "I will not be kept in isolation while others put themselves in danger on my behalf."

"That is exactly what you will do!" Nate argued. "Do you have any idea what the attack tonight did to your friends? To your supporters? Do you want to put them through that again?" He didn't add the affect her near-death had on him. He'd been sent in part to protect her, and on his first night he was almost too late to save her.

For the first time in many months, Annabella Hawke was speechless. She stared at the furious ambassador, shocked at the passionate way in which he spoke of the attack on her life. _This can't be happening,_ she thought. Nate had only been in Kirkwall for one day, and she was already wondering what it would be like to feel his arms around her; his lips slowly tracing the curve of her neck...

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she gazed down at her hands. "I know it must have been horrible for them," she began softly, "and I am sorry that they were forced to endure it. Maker, I wish I hadn't had to endure it, either. However, I have never had the ability to stand aside and let others handle my problems. I face them head on, regardless of the outcome. I can't change who I am now, Nate. Not for anyone."

The smile that spread across his face was the last thing Anna expected to see. Once again, the Fereldan ambassador had taken her completely by surprise. "Fine," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "We will do this your way. However, I want to make one thing perfectly clear. From this moment on, until such time as your Guard Captain apprehends the people responsible for this attack, you and I are inseparable. Do we understand each other?"

"You're serious, aren't you?" Anna asked, her eyes wide. "You're telling me that you intend to stay with me, day and night, until we capture the attacker? Don't you have some important ambassadorial business that your king expects you to attend to?"

"You _are_ my ambassadorial business, Viscountess Hawke," he replied wryly. "King Alistair Theirin has charged me with making sure that the relationship between Kirkwall and Ferelden is maintained to the benefit of both countries. I think he would be sorely disappointed in me if I allowed the Viscountess of Kirkwall to fall to assassins right under my nose. Wouldn't you agree?"

Despite her best attempts, she couldn't hold back the smile that curved her lips. "I suppose you are correct, Ambassador Howe," she agreed. "I would certainly hate to be the cause of strife between you and your monarch." She fell silent for a moment, tapping her index finger on her top lip. "I agree to your terms. You may stay in my home with me until such time as we have captured the assassins."

Sitting up, she leaned closer to Nate; her voice dropping to a near whisper. "I have to warn you, Nate," she purred. "Spending time with me can get extremely dangerous. I hope you're up for it."

"My dear Anna," he replied, closing the distance between them and staring deep into her eyes, "if that's a challenge, I accept."

As she gazed into his stormy gray eyes, Anna knew her life had just changed forever…

**o~~~~~~~~o**

"Well, the list of suspects is long on this one," Varric said as the group stepped into Aveline's office. "We can start the count with anyone who was witness to the attack on the Chantry by that obsessed, blood-thirsty mage. After adding Qunari supporters, disenchanted templars and greedy, power-hungry nobles, the suspect pool grows to the hundreds; if not thousands."

"That would be the case, had I not already begun an extensive list of those people most likely to plan such an elaborate attack," Fenris said as he leaned back against Aveline's desk and crossed his arms over his chest. "I knew this would happen eventually. Months ago I hired my own investigator to look into the situation. I contacted him as soon as the attack occurred tonight and he should be here at any moment."

"And you were going to share this information with the rest of us when?" Aveline asked, taking a seat at her desk and tapping her index finger on the wooden surface. "I thought we'd all agreed to work together to make sure Anna was kept safe."

Fenris' only reaction to her accusation was a slight raise of his eyebrow. "I'm telling you now," he stated bluntly. "My decision was perfectly rational. The fewer people who knew about the additional security I had placed around Anna, the better. Secrecy is my highest priority; and, despite your assurances to the contrary, I believe there are those in the guard who wish Anna harm."

"My guard?" Aveline exclaimed as she rose from her chair and slammed her hands on the desktop hard enough to knock several books onto the floor. "I have spent the last two years combing through the men and women under my command in order to remove those who are unworthy to carry the shield! I trust each and every one of them with my life; and have done so on numerous occasions. How can you suggest that the soldiers you have trained yourself would turn on Anna like this?"

Merrill involuntarily flinched when Fenris' lyrium tattoos began to glow. "You may trust them with your life," he began, his voice chillingly calm, "but we aren't talking about your life, are we? We are talking about Anna; and I will not trust her continued safety to anyone's misguided sense of knightly loyalty to their comrades."

"Why you smug, arrogant..." Aveline began as she moved slowly around her desk; her hand traveling to the hilt of her sword.

"Now, now, my friends," a voice called from behind the Guard Captain. "Can't we all just get along?" Aveline spun around, staring in disbelief at the hooded figure that stepped from behind her bookcase. The intruder pulled down his hood, unfazed by the sword that was now pointed at his chest.

"I apologize for my rather unconventional entrance," the tanned elf said, holding his hands before him in mock supplication. "I thought it best that no one outside of this room know of my arrival. And, judging by the conversation I overheard from inside the secret passageway under your office, my decision was a wise one."

"You!" Varric said, stepping forward to get a better look at the new arrival. "Fenris, is this the one you hired to watch over Anna? If so, I have to wonder about your taste in bodyguards." The dwarf had been with the Champion and her companions when they first met the unconventional guardian, and he'd not been impressed with the elf. Whether it was due to his occupation as an assassin, or the way he leered at Anna as they spoke, Varric could never decide.

Zevran Arainai bowed gracefully, his hands sweeping the air before him. "I confess," he said, his thick Antivan accent filled with pride, "I am the man of which you speak. I have been watching over your Viscountess for several months now, and I have to say – it has been a true pleasure."

Aveline ignored the implications of the assassin's statement. Her thoughts were still focused on his unknown method of entrance into her office. "You say there are secret passageways under this building?" she asked, brushing past him to look behind her bookcase. It was as the elf stated. In the corner of the office, nearly imperceptible to the naked eye, was a small trap door that opened into the floor.

"Damn!" she growled as she turned back to her husband. "Donnic, get two of your most trusted men and bring them back here. I want to know exactly where this passage comes out, and how many other areas of the manor are accessible from it!"

"Of course, Guard Captain," Donnic replied, saluting her before exiting the room. As the door closed behind him, Aveline's focus returned to Arainai.

"Might I ask how you knew about these passages?" she asked warily, her sword once more pointing at the elf.

Zevran chuckled softly, taking off his cloak and laying it across one of the office chairs. "It's quite simple, my dear Guard Captain," he replied. "The Crows are no strangers to Kirkwall. The previous Viscount made use of our services on many occasions for both espionage and some assassinations. It wouldn't have been prudent for us to stroll through the main hall, so he gave us access to his underground tunnels. We could come and go as we pleased, without anyone being the wiser."

"That is absurd," Bran said, his eyes filled with distrust and anger. "If the Viscount conducted business with the Antivan Crows, I would have known about it."

"While I hate to damage your obviously swollen pride," Zevran replied calmly, "I have to disagree with you, Seneschal. The former Viscount held many secrets, and his association with the Crows was among the darkest of them. There was also his fascination with young boys…. but I think I shall spare you the details of that one," he concluded, a wicked gleam in his eye.

"Please do," Fenris said as he gestured for Zevran to take a seat in a nearby chair. "We are not interested in the moral degradation of the upper class, unless it affects the matter at hand. I'd hoped we would have more time before we had to deal with an attack on Anna, but it seems as though her enemies have finally decided to act. Though I am fairly sure I know the answer to this question, I still have to ask. Have the Crows accepted a contract on her life?"

"Alas, no," Zevran said, shaking his head sadly. "I wish it were that simple. If the Crows were involved, I would know who to retaliate against and where they were located by now. The information I have recently received leads me to believe that the attackers are far closer to your shores than Antiva."

The room fell into silence as Donnic entered with two of his soldiers. The men stepped behind the bookcases and entered the passageway, carrying several pieces of parchment to map the area beneath the city. Aveline waited until she heard the trap door close before addressing the assassin.

"So you know who is behind this?" she said, her eyes glittering dangerously. "Tell me who they are and I will make sure they are dealt with immediately."

"I said I have information on who might be planning these attacks," Zevran corrected her. "My contacts have given me the name of the man who may have orchestrated the assassination attempt, but not the names of the people who are carrying out his orders. It may take several more days before I can say for certain whose door you need to break down."

Sighing irritably, Aveline motioned for the elf to continue. "Fine, fine. Just tell me what you do know and I will take it from there."

"I don't think it will be as easy as you imagine, Guard Captain," Zevran replied. "You see, if my information is correct, the attempt on your Viscountess' life was just the first step in a plan to destroy all of Kirkwall."

"Destroy Kirkwall?" Merrill asked, her eyes filled with confusion. "I don't understand. Who would want to destroy the entire city? I know the Chantry is unhappy with the way things turned out, but surely there isn't an Exalted March planned. Anna was assured by Sister Nightingale that the city was safe."

"The Chantry is not involved," Zevran said, shaking his head. "I have learned that the attack will come from a neighboring kingdom, and I believe you know its leader."

Turning to Fenris, Zevran frowned. "You once told me of the threat made by exiled Prince Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven to destroy the kingdom in search of the renegade mage Anders," he said, his amber eyes darkening with each word he spoke. "My sources tell me he has retaken the throne and is amassing a small army within the capital city."

"I am sorry to be the one to tell you," Zevran declared, "but Sebastian Vael is coming to attack Kirkwall. And it appears as though his first victim is to be Viscountess Annabella Hawke."


End file.
